Life and relationships

This was shared by a friend and I think it's worth a place in the treasure box coz its meant to teach us something, lest we forget.

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand.

They were working hard building an elaborate sandcastle by the water's edge with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand.

I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.

I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand.

Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to laugh.

Cheers and God bless to all.

BUILDING CAN-DO KIDS

BUILDING CAN-DO KIDS

1. Be emphatic.
Continually stop and think about how you’d feel if someone said to you the same things you’re saying to your children.
2. Communicate with respect.
Always consider whether you’re saying things in a way that will make your children more receptive.
3. Be flexible.
Parents want their children to be adaptable, thoughtful, and receptive to new ideas, but they often fail to model these behaviors.
4. Give undivided attention.
Kids feel loved when they know their parents enjoy being with them. Schedule a special time – even if only 15 minutes daily – to give each of your children undivided attention.
5. Accept your kids for who they are.
Your children may not match your expectations, but it’s vital to recognize their innate temperaments. When kids feel appreciated for who they are, they’ll feel more secure reaching out to others and learning how to solve problems.
6. Give kids a chance to contribute.
When we enlist children in helping others, we communicate our faith in their ability to handle a variety of tasks and give them a sense of responsibility.
7. Treat mistake as learning experiences.
Kids whose parents overreact to mistakes tend to avoid taking risks and end up blaming others for their problems.
8. Emphasize your children’s strengths.
Although resilient kids aren’t deterred by failure, they also relish their success. Their sense of accomplishment and pride gives them the confidence to persevere the next time they face a challenge.
9. Let your kids solve problems and make decisions.
One trap that many parents fall into is the tendency to rescue their children too quickly.
10. Discipline to teach.
The true meaning of the word discipline is “to teach.” The ultimate goal is to nurture self-discipline so that your children will act responsibly even when you aren’t around.

- Condensed from Raising Resilient Children

Robert Brooke PH.D
Sam Goldstein PH.D