My dream for my son....

I gave this poem by Douglas Pagels to my son one valentines day...this is one of my dreams for him, that he will always have an angel by his side.

May you always have

an angel by your side

May you always have an angel by you

side. Watching out for you in all the

things you do. Reminding you to keep

believing in brighter days. Finding ways

for your wishes and dreams to come true.

Giving you hope that is as certain as the

sun. Giving you the strength of serenity

as your guide. May you always have love

and comfort and courage, and...

May you always have an angel by your side.

Someone there to catch you if you fall.

Encouraging your dreams, inspiring your

happiness, holding your hand and helping

you through it all.

In all of our days, our lives are always

changing. Tears come along as well as

smiles. Along the roads you travel, may

the miles be a thousand times more lovely

than lonely. May they give you gifts that

never, ever end: someone wonderful to love

and a dear friend in whom you can confide.

May you always have rainbows after every storm.

May you have hopes to keep you warm.

And may you always have

an angel by your side.

Life and relationships

This was shared by a friend and I think it's worth a place in the treasure box coz its meant to teach us something, lest we forget.

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand.

They were working hard building an elaborate sandcastle by the water's edge with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand.

I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.

I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand.

Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to laugh.

Cheers and God bless to all.

BUILDING CAN-DO KIDS

BUILDING CAN-DO KIDS

1. Be emphatic.
Continually stop and think about how you’d feel if someone said to you the same things you’re saying to your children.
2. Communicate with respect.
Always consider whether you’re saying things in a way that will make your children more receptive.
3. Be flexible.
Parents want their children to be adaptable, thoughtful, and receptive to new ideas, but they often fail to model these behaviors.
4. Give undivided attention.
Kids feel loved when they know their parents enjoy being with them. Schedule a special time – even if only 15 minutes daily – to give each of your children undivided attention.
5. Accept your kids for who they are.
Your children may not match your expectations, but it’s vital to recognize their innate temperaments. When kids feel appreciated for who they are, they’ll feel more secure reaching out to others and learning how to solve problems.
6. Give kids a chance to contribute.
When we enlist children in helping others, we communicate our faith in their ability to handle a variety of tasks and give them a sense of responsibility.
7. Treat mistake as learning experiences.
Kids whose parents overreact to mistakes tend to avoid taking risks and end up blaming others for their problems.
8. Emphasize your children’s strengths.
Although resilient kids aren’t deterred by failure, they also relish their success. Their sense of accomplishment and pride gives them the confidence to persevere the next time they face a challenge.
9. Let your kids solve problems and make decisions.
One trap that many parents fall into is the tendency to rescue their children too quickly.
10. Discipline to teach.
The true meaning of the word discipline is “to teach.” The ultimate goal is to nurture self-discipline so that your children will act responsibly even when you aren’t around.

- Condensed from Raising Resilient Children

Robert Brooke PH.D
Sam Goldstein PH.D

All I Really Need To Know.........

All I Really Need To Know

About How To Live and What To Do And How To Be,

I learned in Kindergarten.

by Robert Fulghum

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and
dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and
stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go
down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or
why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the
Styrofoam cup; they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you
learned; the biggest word of all-- LOOK.
Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and
love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had
cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets
for a nap.
Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other
nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes.
And it is still true; no matter how old you are, when you go
out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

--- Robert Fulghum

FOR GIRLS by Oprah....men can read, too.

This is a short article written by Oprah. It was passed on to me by a good friend of mine. I think it should be passed on to many others as well. For our sakes, so that we will be able to live more bearable lives.

FOR GIRLS by Oprah

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition or spirit to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is! Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending…..compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships… there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…. a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…….look for someone complimentary….. not supplementary. Dating is fun even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes….…when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him -- he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know). You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware.